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Submitted on
November 26, 2012
Submitted with Writer


13 (who?)
And I keep running out of time,
running out of things to say.
and I fall in love with a firefly,
just hoping he'll want to stay.

As my candle grows close to the end
and my breath begins to wane,
I want to play life over again,
step over my old broken cane.

And if you could just see
what the melting embers mean,
why their gleam is special to me
why I covet their bright sheen...

I would hold your hand and I
would tell you to run away.
No, I'm not very shy,
but it's not good for you to stay.

Because, every time I touch a firefly,
every time I play with the embers,
a little part of me dies,
and a little part of you remembers.

And once upon a time,
I dared to fall in love with a firefly.
And, oh, could he shine,
until the day he died.

And, like an crushed ember,
he's still here on the ground.
Ashen and trying to remember,
he's fallen into a large mound.

Run away, now.

Firefly Embersby hgfdsasdfgh

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse©2012-2014 hgfdsasdfgh
Oh, whaddya know, look at that... It rhymes.... Wow.

Rare I know. ^^; And not just the rhyming part. Sorry I haven't been updating much lately.

Comments and Faves are greatly appreciated. :meow:
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thetaoofchaos Dec 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Rhyming poems are difficult to master. I felt the 5th strophe was your best. Some of the line transitions felt a little clunky. My suggestion is to look at how the beginning of lines sound in relation to the preceding lines. This is just as important to the aesthetics of this poem as are the endings of lines. The overall mood and the images are meaningful and lovely.
hgfdsasdfgh Dec 3, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks a lot for the constructive criticism. :) I don't do rhyming poetry very often, and I know it shows. I'll take what you said into account next time I write one. :meow: Thanks.
Contradictory55 Dec 1, 2012  Student Writer
It's just... freakin' hell. It's kind of morbid, and lonely, and just a little... scary. ^^; Very interesting to read!
hgfdsasdfgh Dec 2, 2012  Student General Artist
XD Thanks.
Contradictory55 Dec 2, 2012  Student Writer
:giggle: Welcome!
hgfdsasdfgh Nov 28, 2012  Student General Artist
:hug: Thanks.
You are welcome! ^^
Amandy1997 Nov 27, 2012  Student General Artist
Beautiful <3
hgfdsasdfgh Nov 27, 2012  Student General Artist
:squee: Thanks.
Add a Comment: