[x]

Pulling on DaisiesIt's a sad sad day
when you forget to say
how much you really care
before they slip away.
You grow to regret when
you tell lies for love
you never feel like enough
and then you fall out--
out of luck.
And I'd go in a
tangent, just wanting to vent,
but it's never enough;
the pain is never snuffed.
I'd fall in a pattern
of pulling out petals
(tasting a touch of metal);
feeling like Hansel without
a Gretel.

Untitledwhat are dreams?
what are they
when you know
they're not real?
the worst dreams
are the silent,
stalking ones
that
hunt you
even when you're
awake
that
plague you
even when you're
brave
         and maybe
         bravery isn't
         not being afraid
         of
         nightmares,
          but facing them
         anyway
maybe there's
no way
to
escape
maybe
the only
option
is to face them
head on
(maybe
those who
aren't afraid
should be)

ViolinMy heart lays around us, broken.
Oh, it reminds me of a violin.
Strum, strum, I can hear the sound.
How the hell is it still so loud?
Broken strings and pieces galore,
I never got what I was asking for...
My heart lies around us, broken.
Can you fix the pieces? Play it again?

Vanilla Twilight (for Contradictory55) "The silence isn't so bad
'till I look at my hands and feel sad,
'cause the spaces between my fingers
are right where yours fit perfectly."
~~~
She comes back to the riverside every night.
She sits at the very edge of the water, once a day, just kneeling there. She lets her palms fall into the water, cupping it as if she was holding it's hand. Her long blonde curls fall over and around her face, and her grey eyes shut firmly.
She talks softly, as if she expects no real answer but has to say something anyway.
"I cried at work today because I couldn't remember the exact shade of your eyes without looking at a photograph," she murmurs. "My mother called before I left for work, but I just hung up on her. I can't talk to her.

WarzoneI watched children
fight like adults
in a world where age
didn't matter
as long as you marched.
I watched elders
die like soldiers
in a place where the earth
was stained with too much
blood to differentiate.
I watched men
with families and loves
and children,
kill with a rage
only brought by war.
I watched the tears
run down his face
as he told his
lover to run
and his wife to hide.
It's
a
twisted,
broken
world.

SociopathIt was the difference
between sanity and madness.
It was the common sense
hidden in-between
all the
crazy things we did.
It was the friendship.
The brokenness.
And who would guessed it?
Who could've missed it?
We shared a break
at the seams
the same line
of crazy schemes.
It was breakable
destructible
un-mendable.
And who
would've guessed it?
The blind girl fell in love
with the sociopath.
You helped me see in ways
I'd never have.
And who would've
guessed it?
Teared seams
falling apart;
exposing my heart.
Ripping claws,
making me bleed,
but I couldn't see.
I'm still holding on
to you and
me.
The clueless girl
fell in love with the
needy girl.
And I...
I watched from afar
as you started needing
something else.
...
And
who would've guessed it?
A fledgling sparrow
healed from your
arrow
but the blind girl
still misses her
missing link.
The stupid fool
still loves her sociopath;
finally healed,
but not able to ever
turn back.

The little thingsyou know
the littlest things
remind me that
i'm not a
very good
person
in all honesty
i'm no better
than the
rest
i might
even be
worse
sometimes.

BUT I'M NOT GIVING UP.
Not again.
I know I've fallen
over and over,
but I want to make
something
out of myself this time.
I want to
be what I can be
and stop
hurting myself.
I have only myself to blame,
and I may not be perfect,
life may be crap,
but it's not completely dreadful
either.
I swear, I'll fix this.

Breaki.
i gave up on
love
a long time ago
because
fairy-tales
are for people that
deserve them
not me
ii.
i always hated
hospitals
that is
until someone
i loved
was
in one
then
i couldn't
stay away
iii.
i can't
outright
say i'm
atheist
to a christian
i have to say
i don't know
when they ask
what are you
iv.
i'm so
insignificant
in the broad
perspective
of things
why care
v.
tell me
do you ever
fall in love
with a
crystallizing vibrancy
with someone
you should've avoided
vi.
i would've asked him out
kissed him
held his hand
loved him
if he had said that
was what he
wanted
vii.
he gave me a
yu-gi-oh
card
his best friend
gave me a
pokemon
card
the connection is that
i fell in love with
both of them first
and i think they
knew
and now i'm not in love
with pokemon
but yu-gi-oh
means the
world

(i still keep both cards)

2) Letter to Your CrushDear Beautiful.
    If I ever seem to act like you don't care, it's because I know you don't. I hope that someday you realize that, regardless of anything you've ever did or said to me, I still think I love you.
    Pathetic, right? Some might say it's romantic, but they don't know I don't have a chance.
    You have a lot of issues, you know. I think you may be schizophrenic. I know you're extremely depressed. You push everyone away every time because your mother is such a child. You haven't been as immature as your mother in years, but, at the same time, I think you'll always be a bit of a little kid because you never fully got to.
    You're straight. And you hate me.
You think you're ugly, don't you? Because you're not. You're never ugly. Not even when you've been crying.
    You quit school. I hate you for this, because you know as well as I do how hard it is to pull back in school after skipp

RapunzelYou kept so much of my soul in a little glass gar.
I let you, weak and breaking behind the love
I thought I saw in your eyes.
I slowly fell apart when you
left, though,
because I could no longer survive
without false love and promises.
And then I shattered.
And I broke someone
that I should've loved
because you made me terrified
to even trust them.
You made me lose so much of myself.
What was left of me was
deteriorated,
crumbling like
broken powder.
No one was there to press me back together.
I pulled myself back in,
because that was the only way I knew
to keep myself from scattering away
in the wind.
I stopped loving,
trusting,
needing,
talking,
even living,
because I could no longer convince myself to.
Then, the monumental slap to the face:
Someone still cared.
Life went on.
And I was letting everything fall apart,
watching it like Rapunzel from the tower,
terrified to come down.
So I jumped.

Lips of an AngelHoney, why are you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey, why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper because I can't be too loud.

"Evan? Is this you?"
Her voice is faint, covered by the static of a cheap phone. She's sniffling.
I don't know how she got my number. It's not really my number, even--it's Natalie's. Or Nancy's. I can't remember her name.
"Yeah," I whisper, glancing nervously at Naome. Or Nadia. She's sleeping on the bed three or four feet away, blankets tangled somewhere near her feet.
"I'm s-so sorry," she says loudly on the phone, and I sigh. She's definitely crying. "I k-keep on cc-oming back and and d-demanding and you have a girlfriend and I have a b-boyfriend and you probably just want me to leave you a-alone..." She's drunk.
"Shh," I murmur to her softly, hoping she can hear it. "You're wonderful, Anne. I'd never want you to leave me. Why are you crying?"
She quiets down just a little bit. "Be-because you're so nice and I'm

TimeI loved David. I did.
His hair was mussed up and messy that night; brown curls just a little bit too long to be acceptable. His eyes, frequently fleeting from green to blue to gray, were a strange mixture of all three.
It was a simple dinner date. We had been dating three years then, as of that day. We didn't overdo it. I was eating a simple chicken salad and he had the same, minus the chicken because meat had always disgusted him on some level that I could barely comprehend.
He had been fumbling over himself the whole night, but I had enjoyed the night regardless. His nervousness showed in shaking hands and fumbling toasts to all that was good in life; that table-sheet will always have faint stains on it from the wine he spilled. I had chuckled and smiled at him indulgently; David had been a clutz, but he was my clutz.
I remember he told me I was beautiful that night; three times, each with an overeager fervor that made me wonder what he was buttering me up for.
It

Stainedtea-stains
in the pattern of
footsteps
cover my floor
dribbling dripping running
it's a mess
right where you were
camomile fragrance
permeates the air
and
all I can see is
thin ivory fingers
shaking as they hold a
ebony mug
soaking in it's warmth
all i can hear is
quiet sipping
steaming
laughing
all i know is
you didn't ever like
cream or sugar in your tea
but you were still so sweet
and i can
trace you footsteps all over
in dark stains
but even if i ran after you
you would already be gone,
frozen in time,
a cold splash
of amber
marking right over your heart

BrokenHe shouts;
"How am I supposed to know you're broken when you tell me you're fine!?"
She murmurs;
The only time I say I'm fine is when I'm broken.

Typecastyou'd think life had
grown tired
of making us fall in love
with people we shouldn't.
you'd think i'd start
shielding myself
and letting my
heart go cold
(because that's obviously the
only way
to avoid being hurt)
and i always end up
letting myself
hope again
and i always end up
letting myself
fall again
you say
he's perfect for me
and
i know exactly what you
mean
but
i don't want to be another
girl who fell in love with the
right boy for her only to learn
she was the wrong girl for him.
(i've played that part
too many times
i fear i may have been
typecast)
you say he
really likes me
and he just doesn't
want to rush things
but
i want to
believe you
but i've spent my whole life
feeling
worthless
on the
pavement
and i've spent too much time
with people
who helped those thoughts
i've been lonely
for my
whole life
i'm too used to it
to take that leap
so he'll have to do it
(and,
if he doesn't,
i don't deserve him
anyway)

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More from ~hgfdsasdfgh

Hold on TightIf I could take you away
from all of your grievances
and see you smile again
if only for a second,
I would.
It wouldn't matter what
it costed--my own happiness
doesn't make too much of a
difference when it comes to you.
It never did.
But I can't.
And I'm really sorry.
And now I've found someone
that gives a crap about me.
I don't have to be the one
caring too much anymore.
I like that.
Can't I just have that?
I'm really happy with that.
Can I just keep it for a little while?
I don't need very long. Even a
little bit is better than nothing.
I swear.
I really like being taken care of
for a little bit. I don't need love
like what I have for you;
a friend that would die for me...
Unbelievable.
When I die,
I hope I go out fighting for that.
You really, really deserve that,
and I wish you had it, too.
I wish I could give it to you, like a
toy or a handshake or a hug.
A gift.
You never really cared much, did you?
About me. That's okay. I don't mind.
I care t

Forgotten"How was I supposed to know?" he says softly to her back as she starts to leave. "How was I supposed to know you weren't happy? That things weren't working out? You never told me."
"You were supposed to listen," she snaps, turning around. "You were supposed to ask. That's what couples are supposed to do--communicate."
"I spoke to you every day," he murmurs. "I'd ask you what your friends said, what you did, how work was..."
"You never asked how I was!"
"Would you have told me if I had? Because I don't think you would've. I think you would've just let the whole thing sit there and then you would've left anyway, with some other excuse."
She shakes her head harshly, turning around again.
"You promised that you'd never leave!" he shouts at her back.
"Yeah? Well, you swore you'd never break my heart."

Reminder"Why--why do you hate me?" he snapped brokenly. "I've never--never done anything to you. But you hate me."
"I don't hate you."
"Really? Because I see the way you act around me--quiet and distant. You don't laugh when I'm in the room. But you're different with everyone else. When you can't see me, you're loud, happy... What did I do?" He seems defeated, slumping back.
She feels horrid.
"It's not really your fault," she says slowly, looking away. "I'm sorry. I like you. I really do."
"Then why?
She sighs.
"You remind me of someone. I loved them, but they're gone now. Sometimes, I look at you and I see their face. You'll say something and I hear their voice. I feel... guilty, I guess, for liking you. Things didn't end well between us."
He pauses. "I'm sorry, I didn't..."
"No, it's fine. I needed to get over it anyway."
He nods, getting up to leave.
"Just so you know," he says, "I really like you, too."

Take a Deep Breathi pull out a soft kind of song
from deep into the abyss
with soot-tipped fingers
so if you hear him asking
what i've become
tell him i'm with the singers

[if he swears he remembers
tell him it doesn't really matter
and tell him i don't care]
i bury myself in memories
of tears and forgiveness
of never knowing what to say
i stare at her reflection
and i'm not sure why
but i watch her walk away

[he says;
i love you
it doesn't matter
i say;
who cares?]
and it's easier
to think i'll never love again
even if i kinda already do
it's simpler to die
staring at reflections
never chasing what's true

[i'm scared he'll listen
as i tell him to just leave
but i'm more scared that he'll stay]

Grit and Sugarshe screams and she fights and she runs and she claws...
she's tries so hard
to make you hate her
because she knows
you think you love her
but that's not enough
and she'll end up
not being enough
and
she doesn't want
to let you in
she'd still be
kissing you,
hugging you,
if you hadn't
fallen in love
but now she's
terrified
so she snaps
at you and she
pushes you away
so that you'll leave her alone
and stop looking closer
just like all the others
but you keep on trying
she keeps on hurting you
but you keep on coming back
and she feels like a monster
because she knows you don't know
just how horrid she is on the inside;
dead,
broken,
shattered,
lying.
so she bites and pushes and shoves
because she thinks she might like you
a little bit too much.

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Submitted: November 26, 2012
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[x]

Firefly Embers

by ~hgfdsasdfgh, Nov 26, 2012, 6:28:22 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

And I keep running out of time,
running out of things to say.
and I fall in love with a firefly,
just hoping he'll want to stay.

As my candle grows close to the end
and my breath begins to wane,
I want to play life over again,
step over my old broken cane.

And if you could just see
what the melting embers mean,
why their gleam is special to me
why I covet their bright sheen...

I would hold your hand and I
would tell you to run away.
No, I'm not very shy,
but it's not good for you to stay.

Because, every time I touch a firefly,
every time I play with the embers,
a little part of me dies,
and a little part of you remembers.

And once upon a time,
I dared to fall in love with a firefly.
And, oh, could he shine,
until the day he died.

And, like an crushed ember,
he's still here on the ground.
Ashen and trying to remember,
he's fallen into a large mound.

Run away, now.

Firefly Embersby ~hgfdsasdfgh

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2012-2013 ~hgfdsasdfgh

Oh, whaddya know, look at that... It rhymes.... Wow.

Rare I know.

And not just the rhyming part. Sorry I haven't been updating much lately.

Comments and Faves are greatly appreciated.

`thetaoofchaos Dec 3, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Rhyming poems are difficult to master. I felt the 5th strophe was your best. Some of the line transitions felt a little clunky. My suggestion is to look at how the beginning of lines sound in relation to the preceding lines. This is just as important to the aesthetics of this poem as are the endings of lines. The overall mood and the images are meaningful and lovely.

Reply

~hgfdsasdfgh Dec 3, 2012 Student General Artist

Thanks a lot for the constructive criticism.

I don't do rhyming poetry very often, and I know it shows. I'll take what you said into account next time I write one.

Thanks.

Reply

~Contradictory55 Dec 1, 2012 Student Writer

It's just... freakin' hell. It's kind of morbid, and lonely, and just a little... scary.

Very interesting to read!

Reply

~hgfdsasdfgh Dec 2, 2012 Student General Artist

XD Thanks.

Reply

~Contradictory55 Dec 2, 2012 Student Writer

Welcome!

Reply

*lantern-rose Nov 27, 2012 Professional Writer

Reply

~hgfdsasdfgh Nov 28, 2012 Student General Artist

Thanks.

Reply

*lantern-rose Nov 28, 2012 Professional Writer

You are welcome! ^^

Reply

~Amandy1997 Nov 27, 2012 Student General Artist

Beautiful <3

Reply

~hgfdsasdfgh Nov 27, 2012 Student General Artist

Thanks.

Reply

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